Listen Up.

Once at a networking event, someone asked me the common question, “So, what do you do?”

Instead of my usual answer of, “I help people write their memoir,” I said instead, “I’m a professional listener.” And it wasn’t until that “off the cuff” comment that I realized a core truth about what my job is actually about!

Being a professional listener is serious business in my line of work.

I remember reading Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People many years ago. I’ve always identified with Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. I’ve carried this concept with me, but I phrase it a little differently.

My version is, “We can listen to respond or we can listen to understand.”

If you’re wondering how to tell the difference, it’s as easy as the following example:

When someone says, “I went to the fair yesterday,” if you say, “I’m going this weekend when the weather is better,” you are listening to respond.

If instead you ask a question — “What kind of fair food did you get?” — you’re listening to understand.

When we begin with an “I” statement, we are listening to respond by talking about our experience.
When we start with a question, we are listening to better understand their experience.

So, there you have it. Next time you have a conversation with someone, you get to decide what kind of listener you want to be.

There are opportunities in the world for both types of listening, but I’d recommend trying “listening to understand” in your next conversation and see what happens.

Spoiler Alert: You’ll find a connection to the person you’re talking with. 😉

Let me know if you have a memoir project that needs a professional listener! I’m here for you.

Our stories matter,

Angela